Life On Boy Island

Seize This Day

by

Peter came to me today and asked me a question. He was talking fast, as usual, and I couldn’t understand what he said. I asked him to repeat the question and he said, “Oh you probably didn’t understand me because of how much my voice is cracking. It’s because I am almost 12.” I said, “You are not almost 12. You are almost 10.” He replies, “Well you always round up and so if you round up from 10, it’s 12 And then once I get to twelve I will be almost 16.” Peter is dying to be 12. He is so lost in his longing to be 12 that he is completely resenting being nine. And he isn’t even 12 and he is already looking to the holy grail of  16. When I was talking to him about just relaxing and enjoying all of the great things about being 9, I couldn’t help but ask myself if I was taking my own advice. So many times in my life I have been so focused on getting to a different place that I have only resented the stage I was at. When I was 16 I wanted to be 18. When I was 18 it was 21. Then 25. Now that I’m 45 it’s 30. But really it hasn’t always been about age.  I remember standing in my yard watering my plants and realizing that I was so caught up in why I wasn’t having more kids that I was forgetting to fully be present with the 2 daughters I already had. Other times it has been about getting out of a circumstance that I didn’t want to be in. Or it was about having more money, or a different house, or losing 25 pounds, etc. etc. etc…. Just today I was thinking about all of things about myself that I wish were different. I was totally resenting who and what I am right now because of some fantasy picture of an improved future version of myself. I have lost so much time doing just this. It doesn’t mean there aren’t things about myself that I want to improve or change, or even get rid of. But it does mean that I need to listen to the advice I was giving my discontented nine year old. Stop. Breath. Enjoy. Learn. Grow. Be totally me. Right where I am  today. The next stage will be here in it’s own time.  I don’t want to miss out on the unique gifts, perspective and lessons that this one is offering. So here is to seizing THIS day. Thanks Pete for the laugh and the lesson.

“A heart at peace gives life to the body,
    but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30

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