Sometimes people ask if it’s hard because the boys ‘aren’t really brothers.’ I know what they mean, but I would beg to differ. When I took this the other day it came just after one of Ben’s more hurtful outbursts. His heart is on it’s way to healing but occasionally some of the fear and the brokenness just spew out. It comes out in the form of hurtful words. More hurtful than he can possibly even know. “I don’t even want to be a part of this family! I hate everyone!” Pete immediately said to him, “Ben, I am so glad you are in this family. We wouldn’t even be the Gilraines without you. I love you so much.” I was immediately humbled by his ability not to retaliate, or defend, but just to love. I’m pretty good at doing that on the outside, but on the inside, deep down where no one else can see, I am tempted to defend myself. “But I am trying so hard! I am giving you everything I know to give! Why can’t it be enough?” I’m tempted to wonder if he will ever feel totally at home with me. I’m tempted to think of myself. Pete thought of Ben. I have to think that is what the Bible means when it says “to consider others before yourself.” I can’t think of anything more real than loving someone because you choose to even when they are not acting loving to you.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but instead consider others before yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest others.” Philippians 2:3-4
