Today I found myself in the middle of something I wasn’t expecting. Something I did not want to be in the middle of. Something I have no idea how to get out of. Very rarely do I find myself with absolutely no idea of what to do next, but today that is where I stood. I have pondered, wandered, cried, prayed, cried more, tried to distract myself by sleeping, considered watching Netflix, and ended up crying more. Tonight as I sat on my bed, still crying, I found myself saying over and over in my head “I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to move forward. I have no idea how to stop crying.” These three thoughts played on a continuous loop for hours. Until finally an answer. “Just do the dishes.” No sage wisdom, no elaborate escape plan for moving on and out of the circumstance, no magic remedy for the endless stream of tears. Only the simple order, “Do the dishes.” So I did the dishes. And as I stood, tears flowing, bubbles flying, hot water running, I realized that this was just what I needed. As I fell into the rhythm of washing each plate I began to tell God things I was still grateful for. Then I began to pray for people I love who are in treacherous parts of their own journey. Then finally I was able to begin to put words to what had previously just been tears. I would like to say that as I finished the dishes I could suddenly see just what tomorrow would bring. But instead of clarity it brought laughter. Pete came in as I was finishing and said, “Wow, are you crying because you are doing the dishes? There aren’t that many mom. We have had a lot more than this. I can do them if it’s going to make you cry.” Thanks for the laugh Pete. And, for waiting until I was done to offer. And you know, he’s right. I have had more and I have made it through. I think I will go to bed now and rest knowing that morning is coming and with it a new start. And, more dishes.
” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7